What a lively thread, thanks y’all! 
Good news is that we can probably let the thread RIP 
as @jfinstrom filed a formal bug that @kgupta @ncorbic and team fixed in a very open manner. 
This is a process that the project has lacked for several months and surely many can find at least some satisfaction with this recent improvement.
But before the thread goes under, it seems appropriate to break out a couple of good parts into new, separate threads: